I'm what?...Old?

How the hell did that happen?

I'm faced with this ever-quickening realisation that the "youthfull" years of my life are rapidly transforming into my "middle" years. Some of you may already state that I reached the middle years a while ago but denial gives me the right to challenge these realists. I still feel like I'm a twenty-something but my body apparently wants to show me, and everyone else, that I am "my age".

First, somewhere in my thirties, it was the "odd" gray hair which could be easily mistaken for the light bouncing off my jet black hair. However, these gray hairs quickly established themselves as the "salt and pepper" look which became increasingly difficult to hide with wet-look hair gel. Now, as mentioned in a previous posting, I must "maintain" my appearance with the use of permanent hair colourings. To make it worse, I must now move the "5 o'clock" shadow back to 3, as these gray hairs have chosen to invade my beard as well.

Then there's my skin, once tanned and flawless, mared only by the occasional scar left as a reminder of heroic feats, or stupid decisions, you know, the things we do when we're are young. Now I find old people things on my skin. Bloches and blemishes, lumps (eeewww) and strange liney, wrinkle type things around my eyes.

And of course failure. The body type. It is becoming harder and harder, nie on impossible, for me to doing the things I once did with ease. Sports, now takes me longer to recover than to actually compete. Food, well you can forget spicy, the carefree ingestion of exotic foods has been surpassed by the cautious ordering of "mild". And onions, let's just say close family and friends have banned my consuption of them.

All these indicators, my body has so "caringly" chosen to show me that I am firmly ensconced on the path of the middle aged, are, whilst devastating in their own rights, nothing compared to the constant reminders thrown heartlessly by my own family, you know, the people that "love" you.

My fate can be summed up in the, now too-frequently use, term of "Hurry up old man!"